BoldRevelationsMight, aka CaptainAmericaAddict, aka …

… Pluto, aka AvengersCaptain, aka crackpothottie, aka Marvel Freshman, aka stallonekeatonsegal, aka AncientChineseSecret, aka wwefanslamdown, aka innumerable other sockpuppets, aka Ben Ryan Metzger, and affectionately known as Douche Quadbike.

This is an old story, as internet memes go, but one of the bedlamiest.

Big Ben Ryan was missin’ his sweetheart so much, he made her a 7-minute video, presumably to impress her with his manly manliness, and woo her back. In his own words it’s a:

Genuine real life love story of one man’s journey through time as he gives his all for one chance at a dream. Entirely filmed, produced, and directed by the man you see and him alone over the course of nine months.

[If you can’t bear to watch the whole thing, fast-forward to the last 2 minutes. Favorite moment: 1:47 🙂 ]

In case you skipped the video, and are wondering what the big deal is,  the Psychotic Letters from Men blog sums it up nicely:

He’s a cheesy, arrogant and dickless buffoon completely unreceptive to the real-life needs of a woman, and this video couldn’t be any more symbolic of why she left him in the first place.

Okay. Cheesy and weird, but maybe the guy just wears his heart on sleeve. Maybe it really is just a “Love Story.”

But then creepy Ben started showing up on blogs all over the internet, posing as other people, and promoting his vid. Then he added some links to cancer charities, so that he could report anybody who trashed his video for hating cancer.

Turns out Big Ben’s real motivation is landing the part of Captain America, in the upcoming feature film. Under the name CaptainAmericaAddict, he posted a bunch of new vids promoting himself in the title role. Then he spammed IMDB, comic book boards, and random BBs all across the net:

Rison wrote:

His name is Ben Ryan. He’s an award winning actor. I read it on his youtube channel comments.
I won’t pay to see some tiny small actor who looks nothing like Steve Rogers in the First Avenger. Anyway I think Ben Ryan has already been cast already hopefully.

My personal favorite, from just a few days ago:

AncientChineseSecret wrote:

Michael Jackson wanted Ben to be Captain America see the video for yourself it was his only wish

Poor Ben Metzger worked so hard to become famous, only to become infamous. He has inspired a 51-page (and counting) thread at cracked.com, and a series of Ballad of Douche Quadbike response videos.

Rumour is that casting for Captain America will be announced on July 4th, 2009.

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One response to “BoldRevelationsMight, aka CaptainAmericaAddict, aka …

  1. Wow enjoyed reading this article. I added your feed to my blogreader.

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