Monthly Archives: August 2010

Livia Bistriceanu and the perils of virtual celebrity marriage

Being a virtual celebrity wife is hard. The tabloids are always full of stories about  two-timing stars, like Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend Bar Refaeli. Sometimes a lady has to resort to posting comments on public message boards, just to defend her marriage. Witness this post by Livia Bistriceanu:

I am Leo’s wife and he can’t marry somebody else anymore. It’s good it’s not true they are together. He is supposed to be with me not with somebody else. He doesn’t wanna take me home. I have money with him and he’s spending it with sh… like that bi… Bar. I write to you to help me stop him doing this to me. He wanted what? Why you don’t know about me?

Like everyone else these days, the virtual Mrs. DiCaprio, nee Bistriceanu, used her facebook page (which has  evaporated into the ether) to vent about her relationship woes. It seems that Leo has also been neglecting his legitimate virtual love child, Jesus:

He is my husband and he can’t have other one in my religion. Check on that sh.t back. It’s written from GOD so they know who’s the wife for real not that sh.t. I can’t do anything about what he wants to be a sh.t with that sh.t or a King in Heaven with me as the mother of JESUS your KING. …HE has to get born second time and Leo is not being resposible for his own duties as a father as my husband. He’s out of his mind wanting that sh.t that is piing and sh.tting on bed. Believe that’s how it is. He wants in sh.t

But this isn’t just your regular story about a celebrity, his wife, their scandalous bedroom habits, and their child of God. It’s a love triangle! You see, before she was virtually married to Leo, Livia was virtually married to Jon Bon Jovi. He done her wrong, but she still likes to remind him of what he’s lost, via facebook:

I have the Bed of Roses in Heaven but you can’t have it with me anymore cause you didn’t want to have what you were dreaming about. No more anymore never. Your exwife in 2008. I am not anymore Never. Never with me

I don’t blame DiCaprio for getting that restraining order, because personally, I suspect that Livia was cheating on him with Brad Pitt. She sounds awfully jealous of Angelina and her rockin’ wardrobe:

She never rocks She just wants to be my monkey about rock She never knew that and she better don’t. She’s pi onherself now because of this so Brad wants her not anymore cause she stinks about what she wants to be now 
You stink you wanna be like me

With a neglectful father, and a mother who’s been placed on a psychological hold, poor little Jesus is alone in this virtual world. Maybe Angelina and Brad will adopt him.


Saving the world from atheists, fags, and fossil fuels

Suleiman Sami Azar has single-handedly solved the global energy crisis. Now, if only he could get the world to listen to him.

It’s certainly not for lack of trying. Solomon, or Noblefuse as he likes to be known, has

It’s entirely possible that Sami’s model of lightening-powered Nuclear Fusion, using a Tesla coil and heavy water, is just the thing to cure the world of its dependence on fossil fuels (to be honest, it all goes way over my head).

Mr. Azar feels that people don’t listen to him because he is a “sandnigger” of Syrian origin. I strongly suspect, however, that part of the problem is that he sometimes struggles to express himself:

no wonder global economy dead and verge of global war against Iran Russia whatever for new bounty- OIL- assets as in times before- let us see if a 21st century any better than times past to uncover solution proposed FREELY by their brothers keeper- I don’t think so- I think global collapse is GOOD- divorce rates down now as they cant afford it-yet when times are good- so what even if we have children- now they mutter greed is no good- so on and so forth shall the cousin of the monkey creature known as man walk one step closer to being a child of god- surely – more pain and suffering comes first to balance mans behavior with atheism documented in 20th century- as always- everything meant to be- what goes around come around- always have- always will- WHY- we are an infinite entity bound in this body as we play the game of life- HOW long does it take for infinity to cultivate the monkey body- enquiring minds of the universe want to know;)

Suleiman also holds some rather unconventional views. He believes that he is a messenger of God, and has written to the Sanhedrin of Israel to let them know that he is the 13th Apostle, otherwise known as the Jewish Messiah (I’m not sure where he found that email address, considering that the Sanhedrin last made an official ruling in the year 358).

As the messiah, he proposes to classify homosexuals and atheists and “retarded people”, and has published a 372-page book with the concise and engaging title of Disgruntled homosexuals invent Atheism: If you are a heterosexual atheist You were brainwashed by the homosexuals as all humans are a simple gullible creature until Truth found.

In energycrisis13’s direct video message to President Obama, he presents quite a cogent explanation of his new technology (despite the fact that the last 1:45 of the video show a sparkly glass box). Unfortunately, the message is entirely undermined by  his latest video, Atheists nothing more than disgruntled homosexuals to attack church.

[potty mouth warning]

David J. Stewart: Psychiatry is evil!

David J. Stewart’s website Jesus Is is a veritable Pandora’s jar of bedlamy. There’s enough material there for hundreds of visits, so we’ll just start today with the front page.

Not surprisingly, the page is rife with fundamentalist religious imprecations:

  • “Evilution” is a hoax from the devil
  • Satan in the Vatican, and the Pope is the Vicar of Hell.
  • Catholic priests are whoremongers.
  • All Bibles but the King James 1611 version are corrupt, heretical and demonic.
  • All religions are false.

Stewart doesn’t restrict himself to religious conspiracy theories, though. There’s  a little something for everyone:

  • Wake Up America! 9/11 was an inside job.
  • The USA is a police state that wants to steal your children.
  • The CIA = Cocaine Import Agency
  • Vaccinations are killing America’s children.
  • Nuclear disaster is imminent. Mankind is destined for total destruction.
  • The New World Order is here.
  • The One World Government controls the media, and wants to take away our rights and property.
  • Abortion is the American Holocaust.
  • Terry Schiavo was murdered.
  • Homosexuals target children.
  • Harry Potter is evil.
  • Feminism is evil.
  • Public schools are evil.
  • Music is evil.
  • Government is evil.
  • Beer (of course) is evil.

Buried in amongst the technicolour text and horrific photoshop images, is a most telling entreaty:

  • Say ‘NO’ to Psychiatry!

Basil for governor of Tennessee

Chances are that you are one of the million or so people who have watched Basil explain his 2010 bid for governor of Tennessee. Just in case you missed it (or want to see it again), here’s Basil explaining his gubernatorial platform:

Lots of people have had some fun at Basil’s expense, mocking him for his less than polished presentation, and even accusing him of being drunk. There’s a simple explanation for his slurred speech, though, according to Basil himself: he only has three teeth.

Mr. explains more about his platform on his website, in his second list of things that are important:

a. School violents
b. Add reading of the minutes to the U.S.Congress mandatory
c. Get more of the lottery money to 1-12

2.Equal Health care
a. a free gift program
b. take a look at and redo all mandtory insurance programs
c. See why dental is not in most plans a tooth aches hurt more than a back aches and no teeths depresses people

However, poor dental care and unconventional political views are hardly enough to qualify as Bedlamy. What really earns Basil a visit is the fact that he was found not guilty, by reason of insanity, on seven criminal charges. That, and his hard-line stance on stopping slavery at traffic stops.

Mr. feels so strongly about slavery at traffic stops that he mentions it no fewer than nine times on his website. In fact, it’s his number one priority on his first list of “Things of important.” He has filed multiple lawsuits related to the issue, according to this list of “Things I done for my citizens”:

2. Filed suit against Governor Sunquest for promoting Slavery in Tenn.

3.. Filed a suit against Soddy Daisy Judge for promoting slaving at traffic stops.

4 .Filled a suit against Chattanooga Free Press, Tennessean, all TV stations , Hamilton [and Cumberland and Bradley] county attorney, D/A for extortion jury fixing,, racketeering, promoting slavery at traffic stops.

Basil also feels strongly that the American flag is not the true flag, and he has taken action for his beliefs:

8 Fix the Flag at Mill Park to fly right at a high cost of 12 stun by stun gun and now it fly right thank to 311.

Given his poor results in the primary  (as a Canadian, I admit that I really don’t know what that means) it’s unlikely that Basil will succeed in his bid for governor. Unfortunately, he was also unsuccessful in his past three attempts, as well as when he ran for the Tennessee State Senate (three times), and the United States Senate. This time, though, there’s strong incentive for voting for Mr.


Penes at the airport!

William Tapley, the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, sees penises. Penes. Phallic symbols.

Paintings are phallic. Penguins (or Auks, or something) are phallic. Signs are phallic. Statues are phallic. Horses rearing up are phallic. Horses’ manes and tales are phallic. Horses’ penes are phallic. The Denver Airport on a snowy day is phallic. The Denver Airport is just really, really phallic.

Now, not to put too much thought into this, but I am a little confused. Listen carefully at around 3:10.

Many pagan religions worship the phallus because it’s a symbol of life. But we know there is a more powerful symbol which negates the phallic symbol, and that is the cross.

Huh. So the Christian cross negates life (and penises). That’s not really what I remember from Sunday School.

We’re looking, Ashley. We’re looking.

Ashley Kirilow is getting more attention than she could possibly have imagined.

Just days ago, news broke that 23-year-old from Toronto had faked cancer and fraudulently accepted as much as $20,000 in donations (Ashley claims it was less than $5000). The story has grabbed headlines in Canada and internationally, and brought over 3000 readers to this blog. Media sites and the blogosphere are abuzz with exclamations of horror, revulsion, pity, and disgust. There are a lot of threats.

Debate rages about Ashley’s motivation. It’s hard for most of us to understand how a young Canadian woman could commit such personal indignities, and betray the trust of so many good people. To those who have lost relatives and friends to cancer (and that’s just about all of us), it feels personal. There seem to be three camps: she’s pure evil; she’s mentally ill; she did it for the money.

Ashley hasn’t been shy about offering an explanation. She’s not only talked with friends and family, she’s also written emails to QMI agency, owner of the Sun Media group and given personal interview to the Toronto Star. At the root of it, according to Ashley, is an unhappy childhood.

Part of her cancer story was that her parents were drug addicts, now dead, who had abandoned her. In reality, Ashley has two parents, both alive, and a step mom. When her dad discovered the cancer story was a fraud, she told him, and the Toronto Star that she was trying to punish her family for her unhappy childhood:

“I took it as an opportunity to make my family feel bad for how I was treated,” she said.

Later, she told the Toronto Sun the exact opposite, that she was looking for affection:

“I did lie about having cancer. Originally it was because I was alone and had no one who cared about me,” she wrote.

“I just wanted (my family) to change their crazy ways and love me and be a normal family.”

ABC news reports yet another motivation:

The young woman… said she did it because she “was trying to be noticed.”

“I didn’t want to feel like I’m nothing anymore. It went wrong, it spread like crazy.”

Ashley  has also claimed to the Star that she is mentally ill:

Kirilow said she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She showed a reporter two prescription pill bottles with her name printed on it: one was an antidepressant; the other an antipsychotic that is often used to treat bipolar disorder.

Ashley may have the eyes of the world, but she has lost the support of her family. Frances Kirilow, Ashley’s step-mother, posting here, says that it’s all part of Ashley’s desperate need for attention:

Her family loves her and cares about her. While her parents may have split up when she was young, her mom, dad, stepmom, grandparents and siblings have always been there for her. Ashley is the one who chose to leave home because the rules didn’t suit her….  Ashley is trying to play the victim card again to diminish the severity of her actions. By claiming a “bad childhood” she hopes it will garner her some sympathy.

Mike Kirilow, Ashley’s father, has refused to show up to support her today when she appears in court on three charges of fraud. He told the CBC:

“I want no part of this. She told me to stay out of her life. I gave her every opportunity to do the right thing.”

Interestingly, Mike Kirilow’s refusal to be involved has not extended to the media. In addition to talking to multiple Canadian news organizations, yesterday he appeared in an “exclusive interview” on ABC’s Good Morning America.

Ashley may be mentally ill. She may have done it for the money. She may just be a really bad person. But there’s one clear underlying theme to this whole mess: Look at me. Look at me! LOOK AT ME.  LOOK AT ME!!

CBC Analysis: Faking an illness

Human affairs are a joke to be wept over.

No “visit” today, but an update to the About page, and a new page for submitting links.

History Lesson for the Day

London’s Bethlem Hospital is the world’s oldest institution for the mentally ill. In the 18th century, visiting Bedlam cost just two pence, and was a popular entertainment for the wealthy, visitors to London, and the working classes.

“Lunatics” and those who had been released from Bedlam were commonly known as Bedlamites.

… I was not altogether insensible of the misery of the poor captives, nor destitute of feeling for them. But the Madness of some of them had such a humorous air, and displayed itself in so many whimsical freaks, that it was impossible not to be entertained, at the same time that I was angry with myself for being so. A line of Bourne’s is very expressive of the spectacle which this world exhibits, tragic-comical as the incidents of it are, absurd in themselves, but terrible in their consequences;
Sunt res humanae flebile ludibrium. (Human affairs are a joke to be wept over.)

William Cowper, 19 July 1784