I’m no expert, but… why not send in Obama in scuba gear?

For your reading pleasure, an assortment of suggestions for plugging the blown-out BP oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. These are all courtesy of the armchair engineers at CBC News. There’s also a healthy sprinkling of trolls, poes, and conspiracy theorists.

[Note: I wrote this post just after the blowout, but never published it because it didn’t seem right to make light of the disaster. I’m sure it’s still not right.]

Medical Solutions for Mother Earth

I am not an expert but I don’t understand why they can’t do something like balloon angioplasty to the pipe… thread a sturdy wire deep into the pipe with a balloon surrounding it. Once it is in deep enough just inflate it suddenly and that should block flow…

Mixed Metaphors

Build a big carbon fibre tank shapped like a old school hot water bottle…I mean the size of an olympic pool big. Have a closed valve at the top which is connected by a flexible pipe …[blah, blah, blah]. I’m no engineer but have always loved hot air balloons.

Deep Freeze

My idea to stop the flow involves inserting a pipe far into the well shaft and injecting a coolant like liquid nitrogen into the oil stream hopefully causing it to solidify. Do any of you engineering people have any thoughts on this?

ive tryed contacting everyone down in the states bp, govener all falls on deaf ears .if you can pump mud you can pump nitrogen and make a nitrogen plug done in alberta all the time. but nobody wants to listen or hear it.

Drop the Bomb

I know it may be harmful to certain folk’s pride to agree with the Russians, but it is time to blow this wellhead to kingdom come.

Blow the damned thing with tons of dynamite! If it does not work, use even more dynamite!

Use a giant “thermite bomb” to fuse the sea floor around the well into glass.

According to some comments I’ve read on blogs lately, the only thing that will shut it down is a nuclear bomb. Everything else is going to fail… and there maybe another massive explosion…. Volcanos are now erupting everywhere…. yes it is related! We have no idea what we’ve done.

Call in the military and kill this thing.

Concrete is as good as duct tape.

Build a giant concret box and a lid. Put a valve on the side. Drop the box around the leak. Then drop the lid on it. Now you can figure out what to do with your mess!!

Whate the hell do they have working on this problem down there? idiots? Obviously they have no clue on how to stop it. Why the hell cant they construct a huge, heavy concrete and steel dome and lower it down atop of the gushout, and then lower heavy weights in the tonnes atop THEN pump in concrete and whatever to fill the void inside. Its no good to have try to cap it with the small item they tried before, of the stupid ideas they had to begin with. If this was the 1950’s or 1960’s, theyd know more what to do on a massive scale than they do today. Idiots.

Why didn’t we think of that??

Has anyone every heard of an emergency shut off valve or something?!?

Duh, why don’t the BP people use their brains for a change. Just stop the damn thing. Put a big block on it.

Why not try some kind of epoxy. Heck it is worth a try now, considering everything that has been thrown at it.

They should build another oil rig over the sight. I know it will be expensive but it willl work!

Seriously?

Epoxy?! No, no. Duct tape. Lots of it.

I would suggest stuffing the leak with BP executives. Starting with ones who okayed the original procedures that lead to this mess.

I hear the volcano dust in Iceland turns into a solid when it gets wet.

I’m no rocket scientist, but why don’t they just drain the Gulf? Then it would be a lot easier working on the leak.

Conspiracy Theorists

It is almost like it was all done on purpose! Just think of the truly evil mind that would bring some much ruin and misery to a people or land!

Please.. Someone Explain the Following;; Is this only “one oil well” that has ruptured ? “Dam good oil well” if this is only “one oil well” ? IS EVERYONE TELLING THE TRUTH ?

I think you’re right about that.

It is simple physics those guys propbly do not have even high school diploma. The hole could be pluged long time ago. There is easy way to do this but let me save the trouble to descibe since they think that they know better and would not listen to some guy.

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2 responses to “I’m no expert, but… why not send in Obama in scuba gear?

  1. Rural and Right

    “Send Chuck Norris down there. The oil will then be afraid to leak.”

    I was convinced that Chuck Norris would stop the leaking well …

    http://tinyurl.com/26ze5aj

  2. This made me laugh out loud. Brilliant blog, my friend. You have a fan in me!

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