Category Archives: Alternate Reality

Livia Bistriceanu and the perils of virtual celebrity marriage

Being a virtual celebrity wife is hard. The tabloids are always full of stories about  two-timing stars, like Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend Bar Refaeli. Sometimes a lady has to resort to posting comments on public message boards, just to defend her marriage. Witness this post by Livia Bistriceanu:

I am Leo’s wife and he can’t marry somebody else anymore. It’s good it’s not true they are together. He is supposed to be with me not with somebody else. He doesn’t wanna take me home. I have money with him and he’s spending it with sh… like that bi… Bar. I write to you to help me stop him doing this to me. He wanted what? Why you don’t know about me?

Like everyone else these days, the virtual Mrs. DiCaprio, nee Bistriceanu, used her facebook page (which has  evaporated into the ether) to vent about her relationship woes. It seems that Leo has also been neglecting his legitimate virtual love child, Jesus:

He is my husband and he can’t have other one in my religion. Check on that sh.t back. It’s written from GOD so they know who’s the wife for real not that sh.t. I can’t do anything about what he wants to be a sh.t with that sh.t or a King in Heaven with me as the mother of JESUS your KING. …HE has to get born second time and Leo is not being resposible for his own duties as a father as my husband. He’s out of his mind wanting that sh.t that is piing and sh.tting on bed. Believe that’s how it is. He wants in sh.t

But this isn’t just your regular story about a celebrity, his wife, their scandalous bedroom habits, and their child of God. It’s a love triangle! You see, before she was virtually married to Leo, Livia was virtually married to Jon Bon Jovi. He done her wrong, but she still likes to remind him of what he’s lost, via facebook:

I have the Bed of Roses in Heaven but you can’t have it with me anymore cause you didn’t want to have what you were dreaming about. No more anymore never. Your exwife in 2008. I am not anymore Never. Never with me

I don’t blame DiCaprio for getting that restraining order, because personally, I suspect that Livia was cheating on him with Brad Pitt. She sounds awfully jealous of Angelina and her rockin’ wardrobe:

She never rocks She just wants to be my monkey about rock She never knew that and she better don’t. She’s pi onherself now because of this so Brad wants her not anymore cause she stinks about what she wants to be now 
You stink you wanna be like me

With a neglectful father, and a mother who’s been placed on a psychological hold, poor little Jesus is alone in this virtual world. Maybe Angelina and Brad will adopt him.

Penes at the airport!

William Tapley, the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, sees penises. Penes. Phallic symbols.

Paintings are phallic. Penguins (or Auks, or something) are phallic. Signs are phallic. Statues are phallic. Horses rearing up are phallic. Horses’ manes and tales are phallic. Horses’ penes are phallic. The Denver Airport on a snowy day is phallic. The Denver Airport is just really, really phallic.

Now, not to put too much thought into this, but I am a little confused. Listen carefully at around 3:10.

Many pagan religions worship the phallus because it’s a symbol of life. But we know there is a more powerful symbol which negates the phallic symbol, and that is the cross.

Huh. So the Christian cross negates life (and penises). That’s not really what I remember from Sunday School.

Ashley Kirilow poll: bedlamist or grifter?

Yesterday’s post about Ashley Kirilow, the young woman who faked having cancer, drew an unprecedented 1200 readers.  I’ve been reading some blogging advice columns, and the experts say that successful blogs engage their readers in debate. So, in an unashamed effort to provoke debate and retain some of my new readers, I present Bedlam’s first poll:

Ashley Kirilow “Won’t Quit” attention seeking

Volunteers claim Ashley Kirilow raised $20,000, but she say it was less than $5,000.

Today, 23 year old Ashley Kirilow finds herself a universally despised woman. She wasn’t always.

For over a year, Ashley was the center of attention. She was loved and supported by a wide group of young friends, musicians, skateboarders and fundraisers. After all, Ashley was inspiring. She was suffering from cancer  (cancer of the breast, the brain, the liver, the stomach); she had been disowned by drug addicted parents; she was raising money for cancer research, and planned to walk across Canada; despite the ravages of her treatment – painfully thin, no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes – she was beautiful. And, according to the facebook charity she founded, a group with almost 4.500 members, she wanted to “change” the world:

Impossible is a word people use when they are lazy. Nothing is impossible. You are capable of anything you put your heart, mind, body and soul into. Take your dreams and make them a reality. There is no such thing as a dream too big. ♥

Except that none of it was true. Ashley didn’t have cancer. She had no plans to walk across Canada. She kept all of the money for herself. She starved herself, shaved her head, waxed her eyebrows, and plucked her eyelashes.

Ashley’s parents (not dead, not drug addicted) were suspicious of her claims from the beginning. When her father confronted her, she admitted it was all a lie. In April, when she was supposed to be walking to Alberta to deliver the money raised by Change 4 A Cure, her father convinced her to admit herself to a psychiatric unit. He gave her an ultimatum – reveal the scam, or he would out her himself. Finally, he went to the police.

In a statement to The Hamilton Spectator, Ashley’s father sounds resigned, defeated:

“She has a habit of manipulating people to get what she wants, using people and playing the victim card. She’s very good at it,” he said. “She has a certain lifestyle made up in her head that she wanted from way back when. She thinks of herself as a princess and wants to be treated as such. She demands lots of attention and admiration so, with this, I’m sure she was receiving all the admiration she desired.”

He says he has a message for his daughter: “For once in your life, do the right thing, send the money, whatever is there if there is anything, to the University of Alberta and come clean with people. You have a long way to go to make amends and it starts now today.”

And so, Ashley did something that initially seems surprising, but on reflection is entirely predictable. She went to Canada’s largest newspaper, and admitted everything.

“I dug myself a big hole that I couldn’t get out of,” Ashley said. “And there’s nobody to blame but me.”

Munchausen Syndrome

Note to readers: What do you think? Bedlamite or evil grifter? Weigh in via the comments.

God’s e-book

Mary Jo Fahey has written five well-regarded web-publishing and computer manuals, and has worked as a free-lance journalist, covering renewable energy sources. In the recent past, she ran a small publishing business dedicated to helping authors get their work published online, and in book form.In 2007, her Service to the Good of Life Publishing produced a fascinating treatise on the benefits of iodine, which not only kills germs and suppresses tumour growth, but also cure hemorrhoids, reduces flatulence, repels flies and cures the common cold (in both people and cattle). [Interestingly, although the book is published under the admitted pseudonym “Dr. Chris Robin,” the copyright holder is Mary Jo Fahey.]

However, these days, Mary-Jo is on a mission to save the world. Invisible blue aliens called Sirians have invaded the planet, and are creating advanced alien-human hybrids, with an aim to absorbing Earth into their Galactic Federation.

This is not a War of the Worlds attempted takeover — but a very covert plan orchestrated by the world’s elite in concert with aliens who have had a presence on Earth for a very long time.

The problems cannot be solved until intruders are removed from the planet. This is a difficult task — due to the fact that the Sirians are the most advanced race — with technology that is far beyond the reptilian races that they created. Aliens have existed on Earth for a very long time. They manipulate wars and the economy, cause disease, and harsh weather that causes suffering. They also influence media. Their relatives are the elite on the planet — who control the planet’s resources.

All is not lost, however. Mary Jo has created a website, called God’s e-book. She has discovered an ancient System of prayers that must be said precisely at sun up and sun down in order to be effective. She has also written a series of prayers designed to save the world from the Sirians. There are quite a few there, but an excerpt from Prayer 2 gives a general idea:

Dear God,Thank You for all of Your Creation.

Please Allow a guardian-plus level of Prayer.

Please Remove all aliens who colonize or intrude on other planets or stars — physically, remotely, through agents, or through implants — to a location where they can be restrained — and learn The Law of One.

Please Repair my 3D body, energy fields, cords, space, food, work and possessions from intruder damage — as well as others who have been harmed in similar ways.

Please Monitor predator intruders in descending order of their crimes — and give the galaxy’s worst criminals a proportional amount of work to do in some galactic correctional facility designed to teach The Law of One — that keeps criminals until they master The Law of One.

Please Dissolve all holographic or surveillance technology that manipulates or harms beings in this galaxy and beyond.

Please Halt genetic manipulation on all planets and stars with immediate emphasis on predator species — quickly phasing out all species You have not created.

Please Eradicate alien hand-held as well as space-sized weapons used to harm galactic life — and dissolve implants by the zillions scaling this number as needed.

Please Wake Up those who have been hypnotized — anywhere in the galaxy and introduce them to the Ascension and an Ascension path — blocking any re-hypnosis.

The website lacks a an overall mission statement and a clear description of the imminent threat posed by the aliens, but if you read the Notes section backwards, you can get a pretty clear idea of how Mary Jo got started. I am most fascinated by her marginalia.  In a column on the left side of every web page, the author offers short comments and links on a huge variety of topics related to her theme, including the Nazi regime, alien animals, Oprah, Twilight, the Monsanto corporation, Stonehenge, Greek and Egyptian mythology, Wicca, a variety of books, UFOs and dowsing. As conspiracies go, this one is pretty all-encompassing.

Third Eagle of the Apocalypse

When William Tapley retired in 2001, he was startled to discover that he is actually the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse. God told him that he has a special gift to understand the end times prophesies of the Bible, and his mission is to warn mankind about the second woe, World War 3.

What better means to spread the word, than through song videos on YouTube?

“IT’S PROPHESIED” (End Times Anthem): When Babylon the Whore gets fried!

John Lennon & Stephen King: the biggest news since Jesus Christ

Steve Lightfoot knows the truth about John Lennon: he was murdered by Stephen King, as part of a massive government cover-up.

lennon main pic1

Stephen King is a murderer. He shot John Lennon in the back, like the coward he is, and stole a musical/political genius from all of you. He ruined your world, deliberately, and now you are living in the nightmare he has created for you. Now,until you put him in jail where he belongs, all of of you are cowards too. Nixon and Reagan facilitated this nightmare murder/assassination as well as Yoko Ono (though there is little proof of her role, unlike the government codes in Time and Newsweek and U.S. News that nail King, Nixon and Reagan).

And, that’s it in a nutshell really. King killed Lennon, and we are all culpable. The proof is incontrovertible. Just check out Steve’s pages of yellowing newspaper clippings, unsigned letters, government codes, and snippets of King’s writing. If the web page whets your appetite, you can purchase Steve’s photocopied book for just 5 bucks.

You can even be a part of the cause by buying one of the vans that Steve has been living in. Some day, it will be priceless!

Someday, after my expose breaks and re-writes our history books, I will probably be the worlds biggest hero/celebrity (I to sound so grandeous)[sic] This story will take over the planet and our lives and rebuild civilization, itself. To say that this story I have been breaking for the last 24 will be part of our grandchildrens history books is an understatement. This is the biggest expose in human history and the biggest news since Jesus Christ.