Yesterday’s post about Ashley Kirilow, the young woman who faked having cancer, drew an unprecedented 1200 readers. I’ve been reading some blogging advice columns, and the experts say that successful blogs engage their readers in debate. So, in an unashamed effort to provoke debate and retain some of my new readers, I present Bedlam’s first poll:
Today, 23 year old Ashley Kirilow finds herself a universally despised woman. She wasn’t always.
For over a year, Ashley was the center of attention. She was loved and supported by a wide group of young friends, musicians, skateboarders and fundraisers. After all, Ashley was inspiring. She was suffering from cancer (cancer of the breast, the brain, the liver, the stomach); she had been disowned by drug addicted parents; she was raising money for cancer research, and planned to walk across Canada; despite the ravages of her treatment – painfully thin, no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes – she was beautiful. And, according to the facebook charity she founded, a group with almost 4.500 members, she wanted to “change” the world:
Impossible is a word people use when they are lazy. Nothing is impossible. You are capable of anything you put your heart, mind, body and soul into. Take your dreams and make them a reality. There is no such thing as a dream too big. ♥
Except that none of it was true. Ashley didn’t have cancer. She had no plans to walk across Canada. She kept all of the money for herself. She starved herself, shaved her head, waxed her eyebrows, and plucked her eyelashes.
Ashley’s parents (not dead, not drug addicted) were suspicious of her claims from the beginning. When her father confronted her, she admitted it was all a lie. In April, when she was supposed to be walking to Alberta to deliver the money raised by Change 4 A Cure, her father convinced her to admit herself to a psychiatric unit. He gave her an ultimatum – reveal the scam, or he would out her himself. Finally, he went to the police.
In a statement to The Hamilton Spectator, Ashley’s father sounds resigned, defeated:
“She has a habit of manipulating people to get what she wants, using people and playing the victim card. She’s very good at it,” he said. “She has a certain lifestyle made up in her head that she wanted from way back when. She thinks of herself as a princess and wants to be treated as such. She demands lots of attention and admiration so, with this, I’m sure she was receiving all the admiration she desired.”
He says he has a message for his daughter: “For once in your life, do the right thing, send the money, whatever is there if there is anything, to the University of Alberta and come clean with people. You have a long way to go to make amends and it starts now today.”
And so, Ashley did something that initially seems surprising, but on reflection is entirely predictable. She went to Canada’s largest newspaper, and admitted everything.
“I dug myself a big hole that I couldn’t get out of,” Ashley said. “And there’s nobody to blame but me.”
Note to readers: What do you think? Bedlamite or evil grifter? Weigh in via the comments.
Mary Jo Fahey has written five well-regarded web-publishing and computer manuals, and has worked as a free-lance journalist, covering renewable energy sources. In the recent past, she ran a small publishing business dedicated to helping authors get their work published online, and in book form.In 2007, her Service to the Good of Life Publishing produced a fascinating treatise on the benefits of iodine, which not only kills germs and suppresses tumour growth, but also cure hemorrhoids, reduces flatulence, repels flies and cures the common cold (in both people and cattle). [Interestingly, although the book is published under the admitted pseudonym “Dr. Chris Robin,” the copyright holder is Mary Jo Fahey.]
However, these days, Mary-Jo is on a mission to save the world. Invisible blue aliens called Sirians have invaded the planet, and are creating advanced alien-human hybrids, with an aim to absorbing Earth into their Galactic Federation.
This is not a War of the Worlds attempted takeover — but a very covert plan orchestrated by the world’s elite in concert with aliens who have had a presence on Earth for a very long time.
The problems cannot be solved until intruders are removed from the planet. This is a difficult task — due to the fact that the Sirians are the most advanced race — with technology that is far beyond the reptilian races that they created. Aliens have existed on Earth for a very long time. They manipulate wars and the economy, cause disease, and harsh weather that causes suffering. They also influence media. Their relatives are the elite on the planet — who control the planet’s resources.
All is not lost, however. Mary Jo has created a website, called God’s e-book. She has discovered an ancient System of prayers that must be said precisely at sun up and sun down in order to be effective. She has also written a series of prayers designed to save the world from the Sirians. There are quite a few there, but an excerpt from Prayer 2 gives a general idea:
Dear God,Thank You for all of Your Creation.
Please Allow a guardian-plus level of Prayer.
Please Remove all aliens who colonize or intrude on other planets or stars — physically, remotely, through agents, or through implants — to a location where they can be restrained — and learn The Law of One.
Please Repair my 3D body, energy fields, cords, space, food, work and possessions from intruder damage — as well as others who have been harmed in similar ways.
Please Monitor predator intruders in descending order of their crimes — and give the galaxy’s worst criminals a proportional amount of work to do in some galactic correctional facility designed to teach The Law of One — that keeps criminals until they master The Law of One.
Please Dissolve all holographic or surveillance technology that manipulates or harms beings in this galaxy and beyond.
Please Halt genetic manipulation on all planets and stars with immediate emphasis on predator species — quickly phasing out all species You have not created.
Please Eradicate alien hand-held as well as space-sized weapons used to harm galactic life — and dissolve implants by the zillions scaling this number as needed.
Please Wake Up those who have been hypnotized — anywhere in the galaxy and introduce them to the Ascension and an Ascension path — blocking any re-hypnosis.
The website lacks a an overall mission statement and a clear description of the imminent threat posed by the aliens, but if you read the Notes section backwards, you can get a pretty clear idea of how Mary Jo got started. I am most fascinated by her marginalia. In a column on the left side of every web page, the author offers short comments and links on a huge variety of topics related to her theme, including the Nazi regime, alien animals, Oprah, Twilight, the Monsanto corporation, Stonehenge, Greek and Egyptian mythology, Wicca, a variety of books, UFOs and dowsing. As conspiracies go, this one is pretty all-encompassing.
I was all ready to write a witty, ironic post on Stephenson Billings, and his Christwire article railing against actor Bill Murray. According to Stephenson, Bill Murray is a threat to the very future of America:
Bill Murray is a fatal disease and the sad news we bring you today is that your children have been infected.
There is no denying that this grotesque and dangerous creature can be described as nothing less than one of the four horsemen of America’s impending Apocalypse.
And then I got thinking. This guy writes really well. The piece lacks the subtle hallmarks of insanity that make craziness so entertaining. Witness these selections:
When you see this man on screen, his eyes wander all over you like a caged New York City rat. They seek out your curves and muscles with eerie desire. Those are not the eyes of someone you can trust. His mischievous grin suggests rape and sex and wanting to violate any thing he comes into contact with in the dead of night….
Instead, we have boozy Bill Murray on our screens, luring young teens to jump in to his musty van of laziness.
We do not need perverts like Bill Murray lusting after our beautiful children with a reckless almost urgent need to tear them from innocence so he can insanely explore his lost, burning childhood on their soft bodies on old couches in dirty apartments in the ghettos of America.
Oh yes, it’s insane. But look at those lovely similes and metaphors, that gorgeous imagery. And where are the exclamation marks? Where is the narcissism? Where is the personal fear of persecution? Where is the author’s deity-granted mission to singularly save the world?
So, I did a little digging into Stephenson Billings. It seems Mr. Billings is a “credentialed” Christian Investigative Journalist, who is also a “Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens!” Hmmm. OK. But also:
Mr. Billings also enjoys being … a Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer (working in the Auguste method) in his hometown in Tennessee. His hobbies include antique soda bottle collecting and the piano.
According to wikipedia, an Auguste clown is a clever anarchist, a joker who goes in for exaggerated foolishness. In internet terms, a poe. And it seems I’m not the only one with suspicions. Comedy Central declared Billings as a hoaxster, and the Murray article as the piece that reveals Christwire as a satire site:
In this high speed world the line between news and not-news gets fuzzy real fast, and we were hoaxed by a satirical Christian website that looked like a real Christian website (yes, Virginia, they do exist).
Not everyone is quite so sure, however. Billings is an active poster on the Confessionwire, boards (a site affiliated with Christwire), where other posters consistently challenge his credentials, and accuse him of being a pedophile. Stephenson even goes to the trouble to post comments on a variety of forums, including this New York Times article. That’s one dedicated satirist.
So, what do you think, dear readers? Is Billings certifiable, or brilliant? Is Christwire serious, or satire? If Billings is a full-time poe, and Christwire is satire, then who pays the bills?
I’ll leave Stephenson with the final word:
“In the struggle against evil in the world, there is no shame in losing only in fighting without all your guts.” –Stephenson Billings
For your reading pleasure, an assortment of suggestions for plugging the blown-out BP oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. These are all courtesy of the armchair engineers at CBC News. There’s also a healthy sprinkling of trolls, poes, and conspiracy theorists.
[Note: I wrote this post just after the blowout, but never published it because it didn’t seem right to make light of the disaster. I’m sure it’s still not right.]
Medical Solutions for Mother Earth
I am not an expert but I don’t understand why they can’t do something like balloon angioplasty to the pipe… thread a sturdy wire deep into the pipe with a balloon surrounding it. Once it is in deep enough just inflate it suddenly and that should block flow…
Build a big carbon fibre tank shapped like a old school hot water bottle…I mean the size of an olympic pool big. Have a closed valve at the top which is connected by a flexible pipe …[blah, blah, blah]. I’m no engineer but have always loved hot air balloons.
My idea to stop the flow involves inserting a pipe far into the well shaft and injecting a coolant like liquid nitrogen into the oil stream hopefully causing it to solidify. Do any of you engineering people have any thoughts on this?
ive tryed contacting everyone down in the states bp, govener all falls on deaf ears .if you can pump mud you can pump nitrogen and make a nitrogen plug done in alberta all the time. but nobody wants to listen or hear it.
Drop the Bomb
I know it may be harmful to certain folk’s pride to agree with the Russians, but it is time to blow this wellhead to kingdom come.
Blow the damned thing with tons of dynamite! If it does not work, use even more dynamite!
Use a giant “thermite bomb” to fuse the sea floor around the well into glass.
According to some comments I’ve read on blogs lately, the only thing that will shut it down is a nuclear bomb. Everything else is going to fail… and there maybe another massive explosion…. Volcanos are now erupting everywhere…. yes it is related! We have no idea what we’ve done.
Call in the military and kill this thing.
Concrete is as good as duct tape.
Build a giant concret box and a lid. Put a valve on the side. Drop the box around the leak. Then drop the lid on it. Now you can figure out what to do with your mess!!
Whate the hell do they have working on this problem down there? idiots? Obviously they have no clue on how to stop it. Why the hell cant they construct a huge, heavy concrete and steel dome and lower it down atop of the gushout, and then lower heavy weights in the tonnes atop THEN pump in concrete and whatever to fill the void inside. Its no good to have try to cap it with the small item they tried before, of the stupid ideas they had to begin with. If this was the 1950’s or 1960’s, theyd know more what to do on a massive scale than they do today. Idiots.
Why didn’t we think of that??
Has anyone every heard of an emergency shut off valve or something?!?
Duh, why don’t the BP people use their brains for a change. Just stop the damn thing. Put a big block on it.
Why not try some kind of epoxy. Heck it is worth a try now, considering everything that has been thrown at it.
They should build another oil rig over the sight. I know it will be expensive but it willl work!
Epoxy?! No, no. Duct tape. Lots of it.
I would suggest stuffing the leak with BP executives. Starting with ones who okayed the original procedures that lead to this mess.
I hear the volcano dust in Iceland turns into a solid when it gets wet.
I’m no rocket scientist, but why don’t they just drain the Gulf? Then it would be a lot easier working on the leak.
It is almost like it was all done on purpose! Just think of the truly evil mind that would bring some much ruin and misery to a people or land!
Please.. Someone Explain the Following;; Is this only “one oil well” that has ruptured ? “Dam good oil well” if this is only “one oil well” ? IS EVERYONE TELLING THE TRUTH ?
I think you’re right about that.
It is simple physics those guys propbly do not have even high school diploma. The hole could be pluged long time ago. There is easy way to do this but let me save the trouble to descibe since they think that they know better and would not listen to some guy.
When William Tapley retired in 2001, he was startled to discover that he is actually the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse. God told him that he has a special gift to understand the end times prophesies of the Bible, and his mission is to warn mankind about the second woe, World War 3.
What better means to spread the word, than through song videos on YouTube?
“IT’S PROPHESIED” (End Times Anthem): When Babylon the Whore gets fried!
Steve Lightfoot knows the truth about John Lennon: he was murdered by Stephen King, as part of a massive government cover-up.
Stephen King is a murderer. He shot John Lennon in the back, like the coward he is, and stole a musical/political genius from all of you. He ruined your world, deliberately, and now you are living in the nightmare he has created for you. Now,until you put him in jail where he belongs, all of of you are cowards too. Nixon and Reagan facilitated this nightmare murder/assassination as well as Yoko Ono (though there is little proof of her role, unlike the government codes in Time and Newsweek and U.S. News that nail King, Nixon and Reagan).
And, that’s it in a nutshell really. King killed Lennon, and we are all culpable. The proof is incontrovertible. Just check out Steve’s pages of yellowing newspaper clippings, unsigned letters, government codes, and snippets of King’s writing. If the web page whets your appetite, you can purchase Steve’s photocopied book for just 5 bucks.
You can even be a part of the cause by buying one of the vans that Steve has been living in. Some day, it will be priceless!
Someday, after my expose breaks and re-writes our history books, I will probably be the worlds biggest hero/celebrity (I to sound so grandeous)[sic] This story will take over the planet and our lives and rebuild civilization, itself. To say that this story I have been breaking for the last 24 will be part of our grandchildrens history books is an understatement. This is the biggest expose in human history and the biggest news since Jesus Christ.