Tag Archives: Bon Jovi

Livia Bistriceanu and the perils of virtual celebrity marriage

Being a virtual celebrity wife is hard. The tabloids are always full of stories about  two-timing stars, like Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend Bar Refaeli. Sometimes a lady has to resort to posting comments on public message boards, just to defend her marriage. Witness this post by Livia Bistriceanu:

I am Leo’s wife and he can’t marry somebody else anymore. It’s good it’s not true they are together. He is supposed to be with me not with somebody else. He doesn’t wanna take me home. I have money with him and he’s spending it with sh… like that bi… Bar. I write to you to help me stop him doing this to me. He wanted what? Why you don’t know about me?

Like everyone else these days, the virtual Mrs. DiCaprio, nee Bistriceanu, used her facebook page (which has  evaporated into the ether) to vent about her relationship woes. It seems that Leo has also been neglecting his legitimate virtual love child, Jesus:

He is my husband and he can’t have other one in my religion. Check on that sh.t back. It’s written from GOD so they know who’s the wife for real not that sh.t. I can’t do anything about what he wants to be a sh.t with that sh.t or a King in Heaven with me as the mother of JESUS your KING. …HE has to get born second time and Leo is not being resposible for his own duties as a father as my husband. He’s out of his mind wanting that sh.t that is piing and sh.tting on bed. Believe that’s how it is. He wants in sh.t

But this isn’t just your regular story about a celebrity, his wife, their scandalous bedroom habits, and their child of God. It’s a love triangle! You see, before she was virtually married to Leo, Livia was virtually married to Jon Bon Jovi. He done her wrong, but she still likes to remind him of what he’s lost, via facebook:

I have the Bed of Roses in Heaven but you can’t have it with me anymore cause you didn’t want to have what you were dreaming about. No more anymore never. Your exwife in 2008. I am not anymore Never. Never with me

I don’t blame DiCaprio for getting that restraining order, because personally, I suspect that Livia was cheating on him with Brad Pitt. She sounds awfully jealous of Angelina and her rockin’ wardrobe:

She never rocks She just wants to be my monkey about rock She never knew that and she better don’t. She’s pi onherself now because of this so Brad wants her not anymore cause she stinks about what she wants to be now 
You stink you wanna be like me

With a neglectful father, and a mother who’s been placed on a psychological hold, poor little Jesus is alone in this virtual world. Maybe Angelina and Brad will adopt him.